My Little Dream Box

My friend The Girl in the Glasses posted a Motivational Monday post yesterday (Dear, Future Me) that I thought was SO clever. You can and SHOULD pop over to read her post, but in it she highlights a website called My Little Dream Box. The site is a place you can write your future self a letter and it will hold the letter for exactly 365 days then deliver it to your email inbox. How clever!

We’re watching over your dreams – to give you the desire to make them come true, send yourself an email that you will receive in the future. In 365 days precisely, and not a day more, a message will be waiting for you in your inbox, to help you confront your personal challenges.
Follow your dreams.

Personally, I’ll be writing myself a few letters this year, I think. The one I just wrote pointed out things that I want to try to do over the next year, and asked my future self if I have achieved them. I also wrote a couple of things that are current milestones for the kids so that I can look back and remember what they were up to. Kids grow so fast, it’s easy to forget things. So this has prompted an interesting set of thoughts in my head. What’s important to you right now? What do you want to achieve in the next year? Where do you want to be in your life? What do you want to make happen? I, as always, would love to hear about it, but if you don’t want to tell me, maybe a letter to yourself would be just thing for you!

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COMING SOON TO THE OWL, THE FOX, & I

Okay, so I’ve started another project for this blog. I know, I know. You’re probably thinking exactly what I’m thinking, “You have a daily post challenge coming up, PLUS you’re going to try to continue with you regular writing, PLUS the one feature you’ve miraculously managed to keep up with, PLUS you’re adding a new feature?!”

Or maybe you’re just thinking this:

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That’s cool. Sheldon is correct. Bitches be crazy. Still, I think that this is a pretty great feature. It’ll debut next week (fingers crossed), and hopefully you love it as much as I do.

I’ve also been working on my Bloglovin’ profile and following some of you lovely people on there. New profiles are a pain in the ass. I mean, you have to find a decent profile picture, write an “about me” section (yet again), and decide whether or not to put your location information on ANYTHING. Not to mention finding/making/following new and old friends. Well, it’ll come along. I also need to narrow down my choices of music for at least the first week of April’s postings. Busy busy busy. What have you folks been up to?

51D00878439A94C010663E8F83AD0FE6P.S. I’m thinking about changing the look of the blog as well. Any thought?

Sobriety

photo credit: http://www.treatment4addiction.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/Path-to-Sobriety-300x300.jpg
photo credit: http://www.treatment4addiction.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/Path-to-Sobriety-300×300.jpg

Sobriety. If you don’t have a drug or alcohol problem, it probably doesn’t seem like that difficult of a thing. At the same time, it probably isn’t a problem for you to walk into a bar and have a drink, or two, and stop. Addicts don’t have that ability. While I’m not addicted to alcohol or drugs, I can say that I’m addicted to caffeine and I struggle with a sugar addiction as well. Seems lame in comparison, doesn’t it? I suppose the closest I can some to comparing would be to deprive myself of caffeine for a couple days and see how sick and irritable I feel. Eventually those feelings will dissipate though. Eventually I’ll get used to not having caffeine in my system and I won’t crave it anymore. For an addict, that never happens.

My husband is an addict. On March 18th he celebrates 5 years of sobriety. I am so proud of him. I know I will never understand the struggle he endures daily. I do my best to support him in his sobriety, even though I still drink on occasion and have been drunk around him. I try to never put him in a position that makes him uncomfortable. I make sure that I ask him frequently if we are in a situation where his comfort is questionable and I never judge him or get offended if he wants to leave or needs to remove himself.  I always ask him to be honest with me because I care more about him than drinking or keeping him in a situation where he feels the urge to drink.

Since his 5 year “un-belly-button birthday” is coming up, his sobriety and addiction have both been topics that we have been discussing a lot. As someone who is not an addict, I realize that I have no clue what being an addict is like. So I said to him, “I’m writing a post about sobriety. Anything you have to say about it that is important or profound?” Always one to deliver exactly what I’m looking for, this is what he said to me about it:

Addiction is a beast you are never free of and are only granted a 24 hour reprieve. At times that consists of only trying to focus on being sober today or this hour or, in rough times, minute by minute, but with trust in a higher power and an understanding of one’s own emotional states you can chain together a series of days. I live my life knowing that I may be drunk tomorrow, but as long as I try to make the next right choice and focus on my actions I only have to worry about staying sober today. In that, I find serenity from my demons.

I am completely awestruck by this man on a daily basis. 5 years is a long time to live day by day. 1,826 days of sobriety. I’m blessed to be a part of them.

Do you know and love an addict? I am not a part of Alanon or any groups like that, though I’ve considered it. What helps you get through your life as part of your addict’s support group? I’d love to hear your stories!

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Chaos Correction

Day three of medication. Is it working? Probably not yet. I’m on a half dose and start on a full dose after a week. Because…..I don’t know. I think the doctor told me but I honestly don’t remember. My visit with him was crammed full of so much stuff. Talk about medication, talk about labs, talk about why I did or didn’t need certain labs…I completely forgot to mention the migraines. Maybe I’ll remember next time.

Hmmm. I guess I didn’t mention that I chose to go back on anti-depressants. I did.

The depression and anxiety was killing me slowly. I could hardly function. I was pulling away from everyone, including Batdad and the kids, because I was just trying so hard to hold everything together. My depression is debilitating. It affects my everyday life. Some people say, “You have to let it out, you have to cry, you have to talk about it, it’s not healthy to hold it in.”

I can’t.

If I do any of those things then I lose the last bit of control over it that I have. Then I go full potato. I don’t eat, I don’t get out of bed, I don’t shower, I don’t talk to people, I don’t work. It’s not okay for me to be like that. It’s not okay for my family for me to be like that. So, I chose meds.

I also found out that the anti-anxiety meds, when taken as recommended, one to two tablets three times daily as needed for anxiety, causes me to PTFO. I mean, sleeping for 12 hours is awesome, if you’ve got time for that. I don’t know.

So this is the beginning of a new and improved, or at least more fully functional, me. Hopefully it helps my writing as well.

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Monday Morning Molasses

I’ve been staring at a blank page and a blinking cursor for too many minutes now. There’s so much I want to write about, but I can’t seem to form any cohesive train of thoughts. I’m exhausted. I know I haven’t been meeting my writing goals. I wish I could catch up but I’m just constantly moving. The only time my life seems to stand still a little bit is when I’m at work. I look forward to Monday morning because work is my escape. Work is where I slow down. Interesting, huh?

I’m hoping to get it together and catch up. I really am. Hopefully that will happen soon. Like, this week preferably. Sorry to my readers.

-Jess

GOOOOAAAALLLL…s

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I’m a soccer (football to the rest of the world) fan. Yup. I can’t really stand American football. I think it’s boring and no matter how many times I watch it and have it explained to me, I don’t understand it and I don’t really care. I’d much rather watch “soccer.” This could be due to the fact that my brother played soccer for most of our youth and he was rather good. Don’t tell him I said that though, ha!

So, all of that was my way of leading into my assignment for Blogging201.

Today’s assignment: consider what you want to accomplish with your blog. Write down three concrete goals you want to achieve.

Goals. Yes. Like in soccer.

Okay, so here are my three blog-related goals for the next couple of months.

At least 3 posts a week including at least 2 features.

  • A Saturday feature: Saturday Shenanigans featuring stories of Husband Shenanigans.
  • A Photo feature. I have a hard time just letting an image speak for itself. I have to talk about what it means to me and why I chose it, etc. etc. I’d like to do a feature that is only a photo posed with the simple question of “What does this make you think of or feel?” or maybe just a quote that accompanies the photo.
  • One post a week covering a random topic: parenting, DIY, sewing, crafting, tutorials, a random bit of my life, etc.

Eventually have a guest spot to showcase some other awesome, talented people. Maybe once or twice a month. I have already found so many talented bloggers, and know so many talented people in my life that I would love to spread some of that talent around the interwebs.

Double my current following within the next 3 months. Fairly self-explanatory.

As an additional goal, and also part of the second assignment for Blogging201, I’ll be reassessing my page theme and layout and making some updates to it. I hope you all stick around for these changes. I can’t wait!

-Jess